Gahbij

You know the type. The blowhard, the braggart, the loudmouth. The guy who starts talking to you as soon as you walk through the door, you haven't even ordered a drink yet and your coat is still on. He accosts you and verbally beats the shit out of you, you don't stand a chance in hell, because you weren't prepared for it. I mean, who is this guy? He assumes you know his name, even though you've never talked to him before, but you may possibly have seen him in here once or twice before, bellowing his bullshit. He's nuts. He has to be. Look at him. Total madman.

"Hey, how ya doin'? Here's a troublemaker right here, watch out for this one! Nah, just kiddin'. He's a good guy. I've met you before," he barks.

Really? I have no idea who you are. But I'm glad you judge me to be a good guy. And why are you yelling at me?

So you sit down, already battered and beaten up, and order a drink. The bartender asks if there's a game on television you want her to put on, so you ask if the basketball game is on. She tries to find it but it's not coming in for some reason, so you settle for a show of baseball highlights. Footage of Babe Ruth and Willie Mays and Ted Williams. Whatever, it doesn't really matter, it's just something on TV.

"Nah, you don't wanna watch that! What is that? Baseball? It's January! Put on the basketball game! You don't wanna watch this gahbij," he instructs you.

He's waving his hands around, a drink in one of them, ordering people around, holding court. He is now your best friend in the entire world, yet he will beat the shit out of you at the drop of a hat. Just agree with everything he says and hope for the best.

He's not a bad guy, he's just completely socially inept, so he makes up for it by taking control of every situation he's in and strongarming everyone into being his buddy. That's all.

Plus, he's buying a round a shots.